I know what i have and what i am.
At least a side of me.
I'm afraid to say it out loud.
To type the words.
To scream, "I am *******"
I'm afraid how others will react.
What they will say to me.
What they will say to each other.
To put a name to the demon.
But i accept that demon.
Its part of me and i've lived with it.
Its a mutual acceptance that when i need it,
it would hover over me.
When i don't need it,
it would recede into another consciousness.
I know its there but no longer fear it being there.
It has grown to be understanding and undemanding.
It has become part of me.